Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Kitty Haiku


This was sent to me by my friend Michelle but I have no idea who the author is.

Cat Haiku




You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will show
you.


You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator
butt.


I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog!
good dog!


The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule
tomorrow.


In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in
morning.


Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that!


Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?


The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just
squashed one.


You’re always typing
Well, let’s see you ignore my
Sitting on your
hands.


My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my
head.


Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What’s a “term
paper”?


Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don’t leave tarp
around!


Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum
cleaner.


Want to trim my claws
Don’t even think about it!
My yelps will wake
the dead!!


I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?


Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back
inside!


Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue!


Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
My
claws aren’t that sharp….!


Cats meow out of angst
“Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break
so much!”


Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I’ll crap in the
sink.


The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for “Cup
Hockey!”


We’re almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my
butt?



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